Wednesday, February 17, 2010
"I've watched as their conversations grow shorter and shorter... and now all they do it eat".
Twice a day, at 11:11 I make the same wish: that our conversations continue to be never-ending
Friday, February 5, 2010
I lost myself...
Love seems to have its way with people.
It takes over everything. Every pore, every nerve, every freckle. It comes in, sweeps you off your feet and by the time you stand up, you have no idea where you are.
"I don't want to lose myself again. The last time, I slowly turned into something I wasn't and when he left he took a part of me. Today, I made a choice that was not ME. I love you, and I don't want to lose myself."
When I heard this I knew exactly what she was talking about. Fictional character or not, her words were true. When he left, he took a big part of me; I doubt I'll ever get it back. But day by day I rebuild myself and I think I turned out better this time. I hate to admit it, but I feel I'm falling in love again... all too soon, yet a little bit smarter. The problem is that I'm falling in love with him again and I know what loving him does to me. It turns me into the best person that I can imagine being. It makes me happy. It makes me want to be better. It makes me want to smile more. He makes me be my "better-self". and that scares me.... because the opposite of my "better-self" is my "worst-self"... it's hell and when he left me I was devasted. I was in despair. I was hopeless and faithless and drowning in my own tears.
We belong together, I've always thought so... but people make mistakes- stupid mistakes. What if he makes it again? What if I make it this time? How much more mature do we have to be to not hurt each other and just be.
I guess we're still young... and we can still have fun. We forget sometimes how young we are. We get too wrapped up in falling in love that we forget about the things and the people we love. It's all about living, loving, dancing, kissing in the rain, holding hands without any outlook on the future... we're just transient souls enjoying the present.
It takes over everything. Every pore, every nerve, every freckle. It comes in, sweeps you off your feet and by the time you stand up, you have no idea where you are.
"I don't want to lose myself again. The last time, I slowly turned into something I wasn't and when he left he took a part of me. Today, I made a choice that was not ME. I love you, and I don't want to lose myself."
When I heard this I knew exactly what she was talking about. Fictional character or not, her words were true. When he left, he took a big part of me; I doubt I'll ever get it back. But day by day I rebuild myself and I think I turned out better this time. I hate to admit it, but I feel I'm falling in love again... all too soon, yet a little bit smarter. The problem is that I'm falling in love with him again and I know what loving him does to me. It turns me into the best person that I can imagine being. It makes me happy. It makes me want to be better. It makes me want to smile more. He makes me be my "better-self". and that scares me.... because the opposite of my "better-self" is my "worst-self"... it's hell and when he left me I was devasted. I was in despair. I was hopeless and faithless and drowning in my own tears.
We belong together, I've always thought so... but people make mistakes- stupid mistakes. What if he makes it again? What if I make it this time? How much more mature do we have to be to not hurt each other and just be.
I guess we're still young... and we can still have fun. We forget sometimes how young we are. We get too wrapped up in falling in love that we forget about the things and the people we love. It's all about living, loving, dancing, kissing in the rain, holding hands without any outlook on the future... we're just transient souls enjoying the present.
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