I still can't believe ours didn't go on forever" - Nicholas Sparks / Dear John
The first kiss wasn't perfect. I've been thinking about this all day. It wasn't. It was neither delicate or like I wish it would have been. It was sweet and comfortable, like we had been kissing forever and our lips matched.
Our hands, however, were the perfect fit right from the start. As I dragged him along to follow my lead in a quest for flirtatious fun, I bossily took his hand and pulled him my way. We stopped for less than a second, the world spun, and we continued. It was like the magic spell had been finally uttered and the enchantment had begun. Everything flowed: fights were short and sometimes fun, hugs were everlasting, conversations welcomed the daylight regularly but never enough, fun was never taken for granted but always expected. We were perfect.
People said many things... all sorts of excuses to help me feel better, but the truth is I've always known that I'm an easy person to leave- and so he did.
Now, the game is back on and I am absolutely clueless to what I'm suppose to do. Confusion burdens me everysingle waking moment. Do I love him? Do I even feel anything? Am I scared ?(of course I am... scarred, too) Can I ever trust him? Will I?
Everything is so easy with him... except I worry that our professional lives are too different now, and I don't think I can get myself to imagine a world where I would leave something I love for a man... I doubt he would ever leave something for me... I'd never ask him to. In part because I'm afraid I know the answer, and in part because what's the point of taking someone's passion from them to fulfill your own?
In this book I read, she chooses to not "wait" for love and falls in a different kind of love with her best friend. She chooses sweet love over real love. I wonder if I should do the same.
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