Emily Dickinson wrote, "The soul selects her own society,Then shuts the Door;On her divine Majority Obtrude no more."

Sometimes, however, we shut doors and keep them that way, when the intention was only to slam it on someone's face and let them walk in with a bloody nose. The initial purpose wasn't to keep the person out of our lives, just to let them know they momentarly suck but still belong in it.

I realized during my end of the year trip that this is exactly what I'd been doing with the people that matter the most. They tried to walk in, screwed up (partly on their own, partly because of my own fault) I slammed the door in their face, shut them out, and kept them out there for a while. Then I let them back in. Then I shoved them to the entrance, slammed the door, shut them out, and kept them out for a while. Stupid Emo poet.

She forgot to mention that sometimes our soul needs someone with a padlock to use on the doors that we wanna shut when we wanna chicken out and select our society of one and ruin our chances of true happiness. Someone needs to lock the door after everyone is in, so that we can act like grown ups and deal with it.

Deal with the pain, and the screwups, and the hurt. Deal with our problems. Solve our issues. Make peace with those who belong in our lives... make peace with ourselves and who we are.

A dysfunctional trip taught me that. A trip that changed its course 10 times before it even started.

"The soul selects her own society,Then shuts the Door; On her divine Majority Obtrude no more."

The soul needs a numerous society. One composed of people who keep you grounded, who believe in you, who get the best out of you when you feel that nothing good is left anymore. It needs people who might unintentionally hurt you but always wish for your wellbeing. It needs to suck it up and let people in. It needs to smile, even in the worst of cases. It needs to open its doors to let the good in with the bad. It needs to find happiness... and it can only do so, if it takes a chance.